Firsts Are Hard

I always tell people I counsel - write it out...get your feelings out...

I guess today...I am writing it out for my self...

The first of everything after a loss is devastatingly hard.

I know many can agree...many have gone through loss...

It's our first Easter without dad

On the 9th Dad's been gone 3 months

Seems like a million years

 My mom is coming here to visit for Easter - without dad

Everything about this seems so wrong

So unfair

It doesn't even feel like Easter

I don't even feel like celebrating Easter

Last few days I have been a big mess...Today is a very bad day

I am feeling angry, sad, hurt, betrayed, lost, lonely...

and feeling like no one gets it

How can they? It's my loss

These emotions seems to just creep up on you

Easter was always such a fun and special time for us growing up

It always had to do with lots of food!

Great food...

my dad's smoked ham, smokies, Hungarian sausage

my mom's 'hren' , potica ...

Church, new dress, special tea,

family and friends around the table

This year it just feels so lonely

I'm trying to focus on what Easter is all about

I know what it's all about...I just preached it to the girls on Wednesday...

greatest day on earth for us believers...

THIS IS IT

This is what our faith is all about!

 Jesus dying on the cross for us...then coming back!

from the dead...all for us ~ our sins...

we have an amazing Savior!

But to tell you the truth I am just lost this year

I know the truth...but I feel lost

My heart aches.

My body aches.

And I can't imagine my mom - how she aches

I will do my best to be strong...to be brave...

to share the Good News...

but like all of us...at one time or another

I need prayer

The first of everything after a loss...sucks