Thanksgiving Birthday Thoughts

It's always tricky having a birthday around the holidays...mine has always landed on the Thanksgiving weekend. It was always great growing up with my birthday that weekend...as we never really celebrated Thanksgiving...so I never noticed the holiday stuff...but my birthday dinner was always tasty...it's not such a huge holiday for our family, not sure why, mostly I think we just never celebrated it back home in Europe. Now...being married and just living away from home...we celebrate Thanksgiving too...mostly because I love turkey and love celebrating and love to be reminded to be thankful...

This year I am trying not to be sad - usually I love celebrating birthdays...yes...usually it's a week long birthday party...and if I can, I try to do a whole month of celebrating...why not? .... life is meant to be celebrated.

But also every birthday I re-evaluate my life...where I am and where I am going...what my next steps are...
So this morning I woke up  ... and I realized it's my 44th birthday tomorrow. And I don't have a job. Being a pastor without a call...is tough...really tough...Being in between and not knowing what's next...is NOT for me...Oh...I know I am working at Covenant Bay Bible Camp, but it's only a contract and ends in January...so...I am just wondering what is next...and...
our saddest news...we now don't have our adoptive child - that we were praying for . Our adoption fell through as the birth mother changed her mind...after almost 2 weeks I can write that now...but I am saving the rest for another blog...so...Yes - one can be depressed thinking those thoughts...
But my wonderful husband reminded me this morning - I am in between jobs - and if I want to...I can be over full time...doing a hundred things...and we had a wonderful life before the adoption process started 4 months ago...and we have a wonderful life now. hmmm...ok yes - he is right.
I don't want to celebrate being depressed...in reality - there are many more things to be depressed about than what I got going on...that's just the way I need be.
I need to focus on the good...on the what's next...the positive...the life we have. The life we will have.
You see I can't stay in the 'saddness' for long...as I am the type of person...that I am either super excited or super not...So the super not isn't that great to stay in too long...
There is one thing I do know for sure ...right now...I can't go back...that's all I know...I don't know what that means...but I can't go back to what was. But that will need more time to unpack... the what is next will take longer this time around...
SO...For my Birthday....This past week, my family came down to celebrate... with me...to have fun and cook and just be...Tonight - we are heading out for a turkey dinner with friends that are like family...then tomorrow we celebrate my birthday with a fabulous meal I am creating...our friends our coming ...to celebrate friendship and all the blessings that we have...Monday we are heading out to another Thanksgiving dinner - then we head to the mountains for some RnR...Then I think I feel like throwing An Italian Birthday Bash...;) With tons of Italian dishes to share with friends...and I might have to wear some Italian shoes...so yes...yes...I am feeling like there is much to be celebrated...and we have LOTS of turkey...speaking of turkey ...I can smell mine...cooking ... it's stuffed with butter and apples and special seasoning...with a hint of ...well I can't share all my secrets...now can I...
I will think about...what is next...next week...in the mean time...these things I know for sure...
What I am grateful for....
God...He sustains me through all things and is good in all things
and I worship and love my God.
My husband...he's pretty cool...he's my best friend, I couldn't imagine my life without him and I love him.
My family...they are generous and kind and supportive and I love them
My friends...I don't know where I would be without them and I love them.

So... I leave with this Thanksgiving Thought that I found...not sure who wrote it...but I like it.
Happy Thanksgiving my friends...I pray you live out your life the way God intended...

Thanksgiving is a
time of gratitude to God,
our Creator and Provider,
whose guidance and care
go before us...
and whose love
is with us forever.

Thanksgiving is a time
to reflect on the changes,
to remember that we, too,
grow and change
from one season of life to another.

Thanksgiving is a time
of changing seasons,
when leaves turn golden
in Autumn's wake
and apples are crisp
in the first chill breezes of fall.

Let us remember the true meaning
of Thanksgiving.
As we see the beauty
of Autumn, let us acknowledge
the many blessings
which are ours...
let us think of our families
and friends..
and let us give thanks in our hearts.