Dear Dad

It's been almost a year dad...

Since you were ripped away from us

I remember the day like it was yesterday

playing over in my mind like a very bad horror movie

I try not to go there ~ yet it's hard not to

I have so much to tell you...

So much has happened and I so wish you were here to see it all and be a part if it

I still text you...thinking just for a moment you will text back

But you don't...And you are not here. And that is the hard cold truth.

 

As a counselor - I know first hand how hard this time of year can be for many

 

Suicide rates jump

depression is high

all kinds of addictions come out this time of year

 

There are many reasons behind all this

and as much as this time is about family and friends

for many

it's also about missing the family and friends that are not around any more.

 

Missing them because they are not physically here or because we are in a broken relationship and choose not to be with them.

They are both hard

but in the broken relationship,  you still have a choice and opportunity to reconcile.

 

oh...I know...some may say it's better this way...and reconciliation is not an option...

 

Yet..

 

It's a good time of year to evaluate your life and relationships...

I watched a movie the other night...some cheesy movie...but it had a good

message...just about family and broken relationships.

 

Why people don't talk to each other

Why one would rather be alone on Christmas than with family

Why one hasn't spoken to their father or mother or sister in over 10 years

Why they don't forgive

 

all these things rob us of peace

 

AND we all know a story or two like that

 

Just made me really think...how much we play a part of the relationships that are broken and why

 

As I grieve over my dad...this time of year...a new for me...

I am reminded of who I have left and convicted to make the best of what God has given me.

 

It's time to patch things up people...that is what is convicting me

 

Nothing keeps us so far from peace than things that are not right.

I guess making it right the best way we can ... is what we are asked to do.

 

It's become important to me now more than ever with Hana.

 

What do we want to teach her?

 

1. Relationships are important whether family or friends...make time for them

 AND...Family is the most important thing so make time for them

2. Know when to fight and hang on and know when to let go and move on.

3. Be kind and Help out where you can with what you know.

4. What ever it takes within you...make it right so you can be at peace.

5. Know you are not responsible for the other persons actions or emotions, only your own.

 

 

As I sit and evaluate these things...I realize I see my dad in all of this...How relational he was and how important that was to him. Always inviting people over, always sitting and having coffee...always stopping somewhere for a cup of coffee with someone.

Dad always lived out loving his family - providing and helping them. Being there for them...dad was always there for me. Dad always said family was the most important thing...and always said he regretted not spending more time with us...it was so hard for him because he had to work all the time - yet I don't remember my dad not being there - so dad...don't worry...you were there for us.

He always made  people feel special and listened to them. I know he did that with me.

He knew sometimes to stay strong in a relationship and then other times

 to cut ties with friends or even family...

because he just could not do anything to fix it because it was causing more pain than joy.

Dad always said friends come and go but family always stays. It's true.

He always tried to do good and help people...even if they were not all that grateful he was there for them...because they were family...or LIKE family ( which was pretty much the whole world). He was kind and always helped ... the way he knew how ...what he knew best...he didn't pretend he was someone else or knew something else...he just helped out with his gifts and talents. 

The last few I added...We need to do what ever it takes within us...to make it right... it will give us peace. And we are not responsible for anyone else...we really are not...only how we react and feel...

and that needs to be checked up on occasionally.

 

So don't wait for the other person to phone, visit, text, email, blog, twitter, facebook...

 

just do it

 

And if you are OK with not...and at peace...then let it go

 

So...dad...you are not here physically...but you live on...in me and my family...

and now my daughter...

your grand baby...as I teach her what you have taught me...

 

So I am going to think long and hard at what is going on in my life

with the people in my life and do what I can to make it what it is suppose to be so I can be

at peace.

 

Love you dad...miss you in a way that hurts my soul like never before

xo  Merry Christmas