Sensitive Girl

Ecuador really messed with my mind this time. Being back for almost a month ,the busyness of parenting, work and life has hit an all time high around here. Nothing unusual for someone like me who is always looking for the next project. Someone who does not like to miss out. Someone who is wanting to keep busy with things that bring life to the soul. Someone who is sensitive.

I was pondering the idea of my sensitivity these past few weeks. Remembering my conversations with women who are a million miles away. I wonder how they are? Did they get help? Will I see them again? My mind turns to prayer, prayer for them and me as I try to let go of their pain.

I remember years ago being in a meeting which in my opinion was pretty intense and hard and someone turned to me and said  'Natasha my dear, you just need to have tougher skin'. I remember my whole mind and soul screaming - NO People just need to be NICER! Why do I have to change my skin!

My sensitive nature  is part of my story. I cry more than I probably should, I get hurt easily, I get involved more than I should, I see more than I want to, I feel helpless more than I care to admit. My story is one that is unfolding day by day. I don't want my sensitive nature to be a bad thing. I want to ask myself when I feel things deeply , either good or bad, what do I do  with those feelings? How can I make this out to be a good thing and honourable thing?  I cannot become less sensitive, I realized that. And I don't really want to. I want my daughter to see me as a sensitive person who is living out her life as God designed.  So in living that out, I want to see what that sensitive part of me is trying to say.
For all those sensitive people out there, do not wish it away, instead ask...
Do I need to go and help someone? Do I need to invite someone over? Do I need to help another child? Do I need to do more with what I just read or saw? What is it that I am being called to do with this?  

For me, I have decided that my sensitivity makes up a part of who I am. It is how I was created. I cannot just put things aside when I am hurt, or ignore comments, or shrug them off. I wish I could. But I can't. And in knowing that, I sense other peoples suffering. And I hold out my hand and invite them to sit with me and have a cup of coffee and ask them to share their story.

That is what my sensitive nature is telling me.

Listen to the stories. Listen and pray and care.

I am a sensitive girl and I am OK with that.

Just be gentle with me.

Let's just all be gentle with each other.

 

Pastor Tasha